Larry, of course, is not a real person. Despite being a work of fiction, Larry the Cable Guy is a remarkably accurate depiction of the common redneck. While undoubtedly the perfect subjects for satire, these people can also be pretty terrifying. The customs and traditions of rednecks differ wildly to those of the common American and give rise to behavior that is absolutely unacceptable outside of a trailer park.
Via duhmerica. This picture shows a redneck who seems to have shaved his remarkably dense chest hair into the shape of a bra. Either that or it just grows in that pattern naturally. It really would be better for everybody if he would just put on a shirt, but he probably has trouble finding one to fit him. Via cdn0. They say a family that slays together stays together.
In this picture, we are shown three generations of gun-toting rednecks, all looking very pleased with themselves indeed. Furthest from the camera is the youngest, a baby-faced man, probably still in his teens. Next to him is a woman we can assume is his mother, holding an unidentified object, either an umbrella or a gun with a very long grip. Closest to the camera is her mother, an elderly lady tightly clutching a handgun and just daring the Grim Reaper to come get her. Via ranker. This redneck family portrait would feel more complete if it featured Gomez and Morticia Addams.
In it, we see a typical country man and woman whose relationship is difficult to pin down. Are they husband and wife? Could they be brother and sister? Maybe even both? Human nature gives rise to curiosity and leads us to speculate as to the cause of her black eye. Via: Youtube. This picture shows three men, probably drunk, hanging out on a flimsy looking swinging couch in someones backyard. The middle guy in the red shirt even looks like he is questioning his life while the two guys sitting next to him are having the best time of their life.
Looks like great fun! Via i. Some people should keep their mouths closed in photographs. The redneck featured in this mug shot is one of them. He is shown here with three teeth poking out of the top half of his mouth, which, in all fairness, is actually about two teeth more than the usual redneck has. His magnificently terrifying chompers are so extreme that they draw attention away from his other bizarre facial features, such as his crooked nose, uneven eyebrows, and unnaturally large forehead.
To add to the absurdity of the mug shot, he looks to be butt naked, so he probably spent a good portion of his day drinking beer in a kiddie pool. Maybe he stole something. Maybe he killed a guy. Maybe he committed the heinous crime of going out in public while the sun was still out. Via teamjimmyjoe. Most prefer more traditional southern foods like ribs, biscuits, and roadkill. He loves pizza so much that he had a slice of pepperoni pizza tattooed onto his bicep. Well, you can sit there and mope about your financial situation or you can dry your eyes and get creative.
In this picture, we see the shirtless man unashamedly displaying his nauseatingly hairy back into which he has shaved the number three with impressive accuracy. Sitting next to him is a woman we can safely assume is his wife. Via whitetrashrepairs. Throughout the song, Joel pleads with his lover not to change herself in an attempt to please him because he loves her just the way she is. We can safely assume that Joel was not talking about the woman in this image. Here, we see a topless redneck woman with a cigarette hanging from her mouth and an axe slung over her shoulder.
Has she been drinking? Almost definitely. Could she be trusted with that axe even if she were sober? Probably not. Here, we are shown a grotesquely overweight redneck woman utilizing a discarded — and probably traumatized — toilet seat in a game of horseshoes. To add to the sewage theme, she seems to be using a plunger as a target. Via imgix. Do you want six pack abs or a six pack of beer? The unnamed redneck featured in this picture, however, seems to have beaten the system. Here, we see the disturbingly bloated belly of a beer-swilling hillbilly as he proudly displays his admittedly kind of clever tattoo, which depicts a six pack of beer where most in-shape men have a six pack of sheer muscle.
Getting six beer cans and the accompanying plastic rings tattooed onto his belly must have hurt, so, if for nothing else, you have to admire this guy for his dedication to the joke. His mullet is straight out of the s, which is probably the last time he actually washed or combed his hair. In this picture, we see a pair of rednecks, most likely father and daughter insert incest joke here , eagerly awaiting their food in a Southern burger joint. Each has a rather intimidating firearm hanging from their back, which puts them in a legal grey area.
Open carry is permitted in certain states across America, but it generally only applies to handguns. Of course, nobody in this restaurant is going to tell that to these rednecks.
Ready to reject your marriage proposal and pierce you through the heart is this pair of cringe-inducing redneck archers. Like almost all redneck males, the grinning man in this picture is sporting a beard and mullet combo.
This picture may just be the most accurate depiction of redneck life ever documented on camera. In it, we see an almost naked and presumably drunk redneck clad in a pair of Bryan Cranston-esque tighty whities, over which pours his impressively large beer belly. Standing in front of a rusted Jeep, he holds a gun in one hand and a five-string banjo in the other. What are his intentions? Is he going to peacefully protest through song, pleading with the government not to take his guns away or is he going to forcibly prevent the repo man from repossessing his banjo?
However, not pulling your eyes out of your head is about to get significantly more difficult. In this picture, we see the typical redneck male, posing in his underwear on a bed that he quite possibly stole from a youth hostel. As horrible as it is to look at this image on the screen of your tablet, computer or smartphone, you should remember that it could be much worse.
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